Learning to Love My Peaceful Exhaustion

I want to be the absolute GREATEST wife and mother. I don’t believe in the “you do you” axiom that is so common nowadays. God did not design me to be average just like the Proverbs 31 woman is not average.

13 She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.

I want to be a hard-working, provider who gets up early to prepare for the day, works hard to pursue opportunities to benefit my family, doing it all with the Lord’s strength and endurance. Who doesn’t want that? Even though I know being a Proverbs 31 wife is not out out my reach, it can be SO hard.

What I have learned this week is that I have lived my life believing a lie. I always thought that my areas of greatness should come easily. Just because being a Proverbs 31 wife does not come easily does not mean it is out of my reach or not the path God has set before me. The greatest achievements in my life have come with struggle and required self-discipline, hard work, and courage. But often times if something requires hard work, I assume it’s not the path for me or an area I’m meant to be great in. But who am I to think that greatness does not demand sacrifice?

God is always using our circumstances to better us. Through my current circumstances, I am learning how to be a Proverbs 31 wife, and God is using my baby boy to help me achieve greatness.

From the time I was a tiny infant to this day, I have always loved and needed my sleep. When it reaches 9:00pm, heaven forbid 10:00pm, I. AM. DONE. My mom told me stories of how we would go out to eat when I was a little girl, and I would fall asleep with my head on the table. I even slept through a car accident once. It doesn’t seem to matter where I am or what I am doing– bedtime never changes.

So you can imagine what life is like when I don’t get my 8, 9, 10+ hours of continued sleep. It’s not pretty. Sleep is and has always been the source of my energy. However, babies change things (especially sleep patterns). My little one is seven months old, and for the past three months, I cannot remember a night without broken sleep. But little did I know this sleepy period of my life would serve such a great purpose. Again, God uses all circumstances to better us, especially the circumstances that demand the most sacrifice.

What God is teaching me at this time within my exhaustion is that If I can be a Proverbs 31 wife on such broken sleep, just imagine what I can be when I’m rested. God is using my baby to make me a better wife, and I would not have seen my potential and strength without this trial. It’s all about being faithful where you are. And of course God would break me of something I thought I needed. He made me truly see I’m stronger that I ever gave myself credit for being.

Lately, I’ve seen articles about how it is nearly impossible to raise young children AND be a good wife. However, I’m here to tell you that my child is making me a better one. We must remember that we were wives before we were mothers, and showing love for and serving our husbands is actually the best way to love and serve our children.

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